Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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