Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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