He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
