Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
