so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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