i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
