You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
