you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
