and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
