I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
did you just send me my own nude
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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