i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize