He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
