I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
