Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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