Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
