Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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