You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize