i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize