Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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