the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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