my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
