The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
