Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
