And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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