we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
