she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
