Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize