So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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