So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize