Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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