It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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