If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
