Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
