ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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