We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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