So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
