So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Pants are for mortals
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize