I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I want to be your penis for a week.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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