i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
