I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Randomize
