The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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