Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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