he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
