Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
