Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
