he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
That reminds me...we need to get swords
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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