Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
