hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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