marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i was born a porn star she said
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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