That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
