How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
sarcasm needs its own font
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
