Michael Bay diarrhea
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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