i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
