I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
