come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
