forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
please come you make the beer taste better
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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