i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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