Taylor Swift is so right about you.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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