threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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