I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
