For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
