meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
