So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Drake has all the answers
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
