Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
