just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
